Taking the Rattle

Oh, if I didn’t have porn I’d be pissed.

If I didn’t eat meat like those gay sissy progressives then I’d fuckin’ kill someone.

What if I didn’t have these sweet tattoos?

What if I didn’t have NFL football?

What if this cell phone that is always by my side, wasn’t?

What if I didn’t shop unless I really needed something?

What kind of person would I be? How could I possibly define who I am?

Without these things how could I possibly distract myself from the wretched day to day tedium at a job where it’s not unusual to think about suicide if I’m not sufficiently overworked.

How was anyone ever remotely happy before any of these things existed?

What if I saw the world for what it is before people started judging my status and trying to commodify my life?

What would I see? Nihilism? Or bliss?

Author

Jason Holland

Contact at: jason.holland@reasonbowl.com

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