The Finest in Poop Poetry: The Pesky Little Turd

by Jason HollandJanuary 8, 2020February 17, 2022

By Jason Holland

Oh pesky little turd,

Wanting your shitty voice to be heard.

Poking your nubile head out,

Wondering what this thing called life is all about.

Woe is the feeling of pesky turd,

Confused as to which way to be lured,

Ripening, fruiting, in turtle head limbo,

Oh pesky turd, in or out I wish you’d go.

So two snaps for pesky little turd,

One for that beautiful endlessly wipe-able thing you are,

And another for your destiny as the little plop in the toilet bowl who becomes a star.

Author

Jason Holland

Contact at: jason.holland@reasonbowl.com
View all posts

Jason Holland

Contact at: jason.holland@reasonbowl.com

View all posts by Jason Holland →

“If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself. If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.”
― Lao Tzu

“They want obedient workers. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machine and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it.”

-George Carlin

Spanish proverb: honra y provecho no caben en un saco (Honour and money are not to be found in the same purse)

“I could not become anything; neither good nor bad; neither a scoundrel nor an honest man; neither a hero nor an insect. And now I am eking out my days in my corner, taunting myself with the bitter and entirely useless consolation that an intelligent man cannot seriously become anything, that only a fool can become something.” – Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes From Underground

“A path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you . . . Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself alone, one question . . . Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t it is of no use.” – Don Juan, Carlos Castaneda

Hunter S Thompson on the 60s & Bay area from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:

“There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda. . . . You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. . . .

And that, I think, was the handle—that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting—on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. . . .

So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark—that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.”

“We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.” – Marcel Proust